DO right or BE right?

Is it better to BE right or to DO what is right?

I love to be right.
No I mean I REALLY love to be right.
And I'm married to a man who loves to be right.
I parent kids who love to be right.
I was raised in a family where EVERYONE loves to be right.

I'm an expert on being right. Or at least needing to be right.

But every once in awhile something comes up and sparks the question is it better to actually be right or to do what is right because really-there is a difference.

Being right is insisting you're right, fighting to the death, not listening, screaming on Facebook in person or by text that by golly I AM RIGHT and YOU ARE WRONG to people who probably won't even hear you. I've been here all too often-being SO "right" that the only space the other person can find is to defend themselves and close their ears. It's a constant theme right now to BE right in the world.

That sounds like a recipe for success, no?
(Where is that sarcasm font when you need it)

So what does it look like to care less about BEING right and more about DOING what is right?

DOING what is right is so much harder.

Doing what is right often means closing your mouth, opening your ears and softening your heart. It's realizing that it's ok not to fight back with your spouse when they've had a bad day and pick a silly argument. It's scrolling past the Facebook post you don't like. Its loving people even if you don't understand them. It's trying to understand or hear the other side. Doing right means responding when necessary with a listening heart rather than reacting with the urge to shout your rightness (that's a word, right?). Doing what is right is going about your path, following your right and living the way you see fit while allowing others the same grace.

DOING right is often much quieter than BEING right.

Today I will focus on DOING the right thing rather than a desire to BE right.
Today I will be grateful for ALL the people in my life and love them however I can.
Today I will let things go that I feel are wrong because right is subjective anyway.

Today I will try to DO what is right rather than worry if YOU understand how right I am.

That sounds like a peaceful Sunday to me, don't you think?

-McGee

#37

#37 Play a piano. It's been too long.

It's been way too long. On a road trip with Mini-McGee and Little Miss we found this piano in the middle of a park with the invitation for anyone passing by to sit and play for a bit. And anyone who knows me knows I was playing 

Night Swimming... 

Because... 

What else would I play?

#17

#17 Laugh with my mom.

I'm not sure I can recall what exactly we laughed at but I do know 

it was much needed and well timed.

#8

#8 Take a family road trip.

Every other year my Grandmothers generation, their children, THEIR children and now OUR children gather at Eagle Lake for a week for our Shippendom Reunion. There is nothing better than watching our kids experience the same things we loved as children. To make the 1250 mile round trip trek palatable we rent an RV and make a family road trip out of it. 

Best. Decision. Ever.

#36

#36 Decorate something at home using one of the pins on my Pinterest Board.

LOVE my interchangable, always updateable photo wall.

#15

#15 Have a Disneyland date with Mr. Man.

He is seriously the most fun guy I know.

Finding the Win.

I have this bad habit.
(Albeit one that I'm overcoming)
If I'm not great at something,
If I'm not going to win,
I don't like to do it.
Sometimes I won't even try.

So to say I'm competitive is an understatement.

But I'm also an 8U softball coach so I guess you could say I'm glutton for punishment.

As I've grown and through many years of coaching I have learned to let go of the need to be first and embraced the concept of always finding the "Win" of the season. This year I've been fortunate enough to coach The Swarm-13 seven and eight year olds on the softball field. At this age we still have many girls learning to properly catch the ball and a handful of competitive players. It became clear to me after our first couple of games that we were not first place contenders so we would need to find our motivation and our Win creatively.

And because I'm crafty and love a good chart it had to be a cute Win as well.

My coaching team and I decided we would help the girls progress in the game by keeping track of their runs scored. We had a goal chart and decided at 30 runs we would have popsicles at practice and if they hit 50 runs they would get a swim party at the end of the season. (Mind you-our first game we lost 7-0, second game was 12-6 so 50 runs was just about right)

Just before the half-way mark we hit 30 runs and we were feeling pretty good about it!

By this point our outcome each game had less to do with wining or losing and everything to do with how much closer were we to our goal. We had our chart up in the dugout at every game and every girl knew exactly how many runs we still needed. These girls were excited to play, they were ready to hit, they stole bases like they were stealing cookies out of the cookie jar and they loved their time on the field! The Swarm hit their goal of 50 runs with three games still to go in the regular season!

Never one to shy away from a challenge we added some new bonus levels. At 60 runs they would get water balloons at practice. So they hit 60 pretty quickly. Obviously!

At 70 and then every 5 runs after that they would get to toss one coach in the pool at their pool party. We're still waiting on a sunny day for that one but let's just say ALL of our coaching staff should be ready to get wet!

50 was our original goal. 50 was going to be tight if you looked at the start of the season. Do you know-these girls wrapped up their season and then playoff bid with NINETY-TWO runs? We placed 5th out of 6 teams. I don't really even think they are aware of that. What they do know is that they had major Wins as a team. They encouraged eachother, they worked together, everyone improved and they blew our goals repeatedly out of the water.

Sometimes you're outnumbered. Sometimes you will not be the best or even all that great at something. In those sometimes you'll need to find the Win. It's always there if you look for it. Those Win's, I'm learning, are the most meaningful over the course of our lives. Those are the Win's that will never leave us.

Go find your Win today.

-McGee

#7 AND #9

#7 Paddle board.

#9 Take a yoga class.

Or...do them both at the same time-paddle board yoga!

The company and the scenery were just the icing on the cake.

#5

#5 Hike in red mountains.

My sisters, my mom and I spent a long weekend at the Red Mountain Resort in St. George, Utah. 

We quite literally hiked every day in red mountains. 

It was insanely beautiful and not a picture we took would do it justice. 

I. Am. Batman.

This is maybe one of the most proud relationship related photos I have. This is my oldest, his mother, and me-the bonus mom. BMOC (Big Man on Campus-admittedly his McGee name may need work) was only 3 ½ when he came into my world and he hasn’t left it since. Early on his mom and I figured out how to become good friends united by a love for this guy and with his best interests always at heart. I realize it’s not always this way but for us and all of our collective children it was the best way-I highly recommend it!

So when BMOC called with information for his graduation from Texas A&M in December (Could I be any prouder??) I was thrilled, my next call was to his mom to chat about details, compare notes about what to wear, made arrangements and we were set!

While I was packing for my trip I realized there were some family dynamics at play that could prove challenging with extended family members, bless their hearts. I’m finding these days that there is often a jockeying affect with family members, in particular in those families that are different from the traditional two parent household where it’s a competition to be the important one in the room or to mark ones territory.

Ever grateful for my relationship with BMOC’s mom we chatted about it, had a good chuckle at the similar feelings we both had around the situation and figured to hell with anyone who thought otherwise-this is his day and it will be an amazing one!

The night before my flight I read that when news of Ben Affleck playing Batman broke Michael Keaton was asked if he was envious of Affleck. His response was like someone took my snow globe, turned it upside down and the snow shifted in a new way never to be the same. He replied:

“No. Do you know why? Because I’m Batman. I’m very secure in that.”

It hit me with so hard I chuckled out loud.

I am Batman.

There is no one who can take away who I am.

Nothing changes the relationship I have with BMOC.

Or with his mom.
And for me, that changes the way I see everything.

As I drove down to College Station from the airport-it was a long Texas travel day-I was also struck that the reason this works, the reason our son enjoys both his mom and his bonus mom, and has grown into the man he is was because SHE was Batman. His mom has always known who she was to her son and that there was no one, no bonus mom, no time away while he lived in my home, nothing that could take that away. It was because of who SHE knew SHE was that allowed me to be a bonus in his life. And because of that he has two soft landing places when things get tough or he wants to come home.

So when he graduated and someone said-grab the mom's for a picture-when his mom laughed and said "Are you ready?" I knew what she was looking for and we both planted some mom love squarely on his cheeks!

Over the past six months this has proved to be the most all encompassing concept in my repertoire, my annual motto of sorts-I am Batman. There is nothing you can say or do, no opinion you have of me, no situation that can be thrown at me that will ever take away who I am. I am very secure in that.  And there is no opinion I have of you that will take away who you are. It’s pretty simple. There is a great deal of peace and power in knowing who you are and an even greater abundance of love when you can accept yourself and allow others to be who they are in the space they are in.

And just for the record…Michael Keaton was always my Batman.

40 by 40...McGee Style

Ok.
It's true.
I'm entering my 40th year.

It seems like a cliche reasonable time to reflect on where I've been and where I'm going and in my obsessive online searches research I've come across the idea of a 40 things to do before I turn 40 list.

Now, there aren't all earth shattering, high dollar, big deal things but they are all moments I would like to have over the next 365 days. And as I go I'll update and highlight the fun stuff!

My 40 by 40

1. Enjoy a drink with a sphere ice cube.
2. Learn to surf.
3. Camp at the beach.
4. Get to my lifetime goal weight.
5. Take a hike in red mountains.
6. Run a 5k.
7. Paddle board.
8. Take a family road trip.
9. Take a yoga class.
10. Road trip with Mr Man.
11. Visit a museum.
12. Get my substitute teacher credential.
13. Outline my first book.
14. Post 20 blogs.
15. Have a Disneyland date with Mr. Man.
16. Make something.
17. Laugh with my mom.
18. Watch a movie outside.
19. Donate blood.
20. Give $20 to someone who needs it more than me.
21. Spend 24 hours alone.
22. Treat myself to a facial.
23. Send a card in the mail just because.
24. Spend time with dad.
25. Let it go-that thing that gives you anxiety. You know the one.
26. Have coffee with a friend you haven’t seen in more than a year.
27. Submit an article for publication.
28. Ride a bike.
29. Run the two mile route.
30. Bake a strawberry rhubarb pie.
31. Go to a Bingo night.
32. Shoot a gun.
33. Get dressed up for a night out on the town, dinner and a show.
34. Throw a party.
35. Send out Christmas cards.
36. Decorate something at home using one of the pins on my Pinterest board.
37. Play a piano. It’s been too long.
38. Spend a day with my camera out. Not my iPhone camera. THE camera.
39. Read a really great book. 
40. Dare I say get a tattoo? Or at least decide on the tattoo.

I'll be making some changes around here and updating the look a bit, adding a section for my 40 by 40 and just generally getting all crafty on you so keep coming back...It's going to be a great year!

Are you still there?

Hey.

You.

You're still there?

I've got big things brewing this year.

I know I've neglected you.

But.

It's my 40th year.

It's going to be a bang.

Keep coming back...I'll be getting back to my McGee roots and finding some wings!

-McGee