Pants to Church?

I grew up in the LDS church.

I was raised by a strong feminist.

I left the church years ago.

But I would still consider myself a Mormon Feminist.

I tend to stay away from issues surrounding the Mormon Church on my blog, Facebook or in family settings as I have many active members of the LDS church whom I love and respect and who love and respect me even though we don’t agree.  I didn’t leave in an angry storm or with resentments and anger.  I left because I felt what was taught and what I believed in my heart were no longer congruent.  It’s because of this that I don’t engage in bashing or disparaging the church.  Truth be told there are parts of the church I miss and parts of the culture I still carry with me and pass on to my children.

That said, today is a day I didn’t want to be quiet about.  Today, in an attempt to start a new conversation, many, many LDS women across the US wore pants to church.

I truly believe that the LDS church has two very distinct sets of rules, regulations, covenants and traditions.  One set is based on doctrine; what the elders of the church and the prophet have professed came from Heavenly Father and contains the die hard principles of the church.  The other set is based on culture.  Often what is actually a cultural understanding or tradition is espoused with the same conviction as doctrine and it creates judgment, pain and contention.

The movement today was not a protest about women not being allowed to wear pants to church.  Culturally, women wear dresses and men wear dress shirts and ties, often with a suit coat.  Doctrinally there is no edict to what we wear.  The powers that be in Salt Lake have suggested it’s appropriate to wear your “Sunday best” but don’t counsel what that is specifically.

At the suggestion of a popular blogger, a group of LDS women started a Facebook group and event and decided wearing respectable, dressy slacks to church today would be a powerful, while respectful, way to suggest it’s time to start the conversation about what it culture and what is doctrine and examine the parts that have left some women feeling less than within the church.  Men who supported the intention would wear purple in solidarity.  I thought it sounded like an interesting group and followed along in the conversation to show moral support.  And then it got ugly.

The Mormon church I was raised in taught love, tolerance and acceptance.  We understood we were to strive to be Christlike as the ultimate example of loving one another.  That’s why I was absolutely shocked by the reaction of many, many LDS people who disagreed with the movement to wear pants today in the least Christlike way imaginable.

I read death threats, I read one woman state in reference to women who wanted to wear pants “I will not be party to hammering a nail in Christ’s hand.”  I read active members comments that any feminist should stay away from “their” church, stay home or better yet leave the church for good as there was no place for feminists there.  I read one self professing “Active temple going member of the LDS Church” suggest one woman ought to just cut off her breasts and pretend to be a man at church.  I can’t help but question what fear is behind those reactions?  I’ve not seen anything like it.  The way I saw it was anyone in disagreement had an opportunity to practice what their religion really is and be loving, accepting and Christlike.

I know, I know.  People aren’t perfect, the church is perfect.  I am no longer willing to accept that.  God is perfect, that I believe.  “The Church” will never be perfect except for that it’s been an ever growing and re-evaluating organization standing for Jesus Christ.  When societal norms and laws forbid past behaviors or who was to hold the priesthood, etc. “The Church” relented and changed course.  Some would say that was due to direct revelation from God to a Prophet.  Others argue it to be a man made law.  Regardless, the church I grew up in has evolved in some ways and I have hope it will evolve again.

If I had been an active member, today I would have worn pants.  Not because I think women should wear pants everyday, in fact, I quite like a good dress and heels.  But because if there are women who feel unequal in church matters, uncomfortable because they claim the label of feminist, who are taught they are less than and even worse, believe it, then I will proudly and steadfastly stand with them and for them until that inequity is no longer so painful or so pointed. 

I believe the church I grew up in is making strides in the right direction.  I am proud of my heritage and carry much of it with me.  I also believe the majority of LDS people I know personally would never behave any other way than to be loving and accepting of Mormon Feminists.

However.

The responses online that came from LDS members spewing hate and calling women to repentance and obedience just solidified for me how necessary this conversation is.

I hope one day to say I saw the beginning of a mighty change. 

-McGee, A Mormon Feminist

hardest work.

It's after 11:00 on a Thursday night.
I've worked half a day,
Took care of a feverish baby,
Cheered on two of our girls on the basketball court,
Helped Little Man with his math,
Placed Oodle, our Elf on a Shelf, in a new spot
And was hanging up laundry thinking about being a mom.

Turns out two Varsity athletes in the same sport makes for a lot of jerseys hanging to dry in your hallway late at night during a tournament week.

It's a lot of work being a mom.

And being a good one is hard.

The physical work is plentiful,

But the emotional work is intense.

I really didn't know what I was getting into.

I'm not sure anyone could have prepared me.

I had no idea how much my mom, yes, even my full time working outside of the house mom, did for us to make sure we had what we needed and often what we wanted.  I had no idea my heart would walk around outside my body on a daily basis.  I didn't know how tiring it would be nor did I really comprehend how amazing it would feel to be someones mommy, let alone have six call me mom.  I didn't understand how special it would feel to have a newborn look at me the way Bean does or to be the mom cheering on the sidelines at their sporting events.

It really is the hardest non-paying, often overlooked and under-appreciated work I've ever done but it is by far the one that yields the biggest payoff.  I am one blessed mommy.

-McGee

it gets better?

Ever had those days when you wonder when it will get better?

Easier?

Less complicated?

I had that day today.

There is no big crisis, life isn't coming to a crashing halt,
nothing is falling apart.

But.
I'm exhausted.

Thank Sweet Baby Jesus my sweet baby bean is a sleeper!  I've multi-tasked more than I should have this week.  Mini-Me had her own 16 year old drama, (which, by the way, if you have a literal mini-me,  good luck getting through her high school years without feeling every ounce of pain from your own four years of hell), we've had injuries, work, parent meetings at school, basketball practices, try outs for the teams I coach and...hmmm...what else?

And the Bean.
Whom I adore.
But was under the weather and wanted to snuggle all week.
Which I also adore.
Unless I have things that need to be accomplished.

So by Friday night I take a deep breath, sigh and have an emotional let down.  The first thought that crosses my mind is when will it be easier?  And then I realize this is the time in my children's lives that my elders look back on fondly and occasionally even miss.

And then I breathe again.

And Bean cracks a monumentally huge smile at me.
And I pick up Mini-Me in her new car and SHE cracks a grin.
And Little Miss is loving being lazy on the couch.
And Little Man is ready to be tucked in with a big "I love you"
And Soapy D is passed out, cozy as can be.

And Mr. Man gives me that look.
(Which makes me laugh because it's been too long of a day for that, but it's still flattering)

And I remember...this is a beautiful life.
Even when it's crazy.
And exhausting.
Or tedious.

It's also lovely.
And blessed.

Certainly irreplaceable.

-McGee

little MANnerism throw back

Having a newborn and a 5 year old in the house brought this one back...

When Little Man was born, Little Miss was 6.
I was changing his diaper one day and she was looking inquisitively at his parts just over my shoulder.  Recognizing her curiosity we started talking about private areas of our bodies and wanting to always use proper language I told her that Little Man had a penis but that it was his and not to be bothered by anyone.

A few minutes went by when it dawned on me she might not know what her parts were called.  So I asked "Do you know what your private area is called?"

Without skipping a beat and almost dismissively she says...

"Oh mine?  Mine's just a regular."

And let me tell you, that just made the word vagina sound so ridiculous it took me a few days to circle back and correct her.

-McGee

little MANnerisms

Little Man and I were driving past the local cemetery.
He was asking me loads of questions...

Will Bean have to be buried here since she was born here?
Do we know anyone buried here?
How are people buried?

Then he busts out with this gem...

Little Man:  Mom, when I die I don't want to be buried.
Me:     What do you want to have happen instead?
Little Man:  I want to be a prop.
Me:     A prop?  Like for a movie?
Little Man:  No.  Like for a Halloween decoration at the house.

(I'm dying at this point)

Me:    What would we do with you when it's not Halloween?
Little Man:  Just put me in the attic, or the basement.  I just think my body would be lonely if you buried it in the cemetery.

Seriously.  A prop?
I love this kid.

-McGee

progress.

So...I grew up as, and proceeded to live years of my adult life as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I was a Mormon.
Story for another time.

I'm no longer an active participant for doctrinal reasons.
Another story for another time.
Maybe.

But it is part of who I am and how I came to be.
I'm connected to it in a way that is deeply cultural.
Not just religious.
I love many parts of the culture and appreciate what I've learned.
I didn't leave with an angry bang.
I left with a sad heart and a love of the community.

But it would be hard to go back.
Unless some things changed.

Today some of those things changed a little.

Young men in the LDS community have been expected to serve a two year mission when they turn 19, for as long as I've been alive, even longer.  Women have been allowed to go when they turn 21, however, it is not an expectation.  In fact, it's been often perceived and taught to be an option (at least in my classes) "if you aren't married by 21" causing a stigma and far less women than men serving missions.  Women are invited to go at 21 for a year and a half.

Today at a Bi-Annual meeting of the church, known as General Conference, a massive change in the missionary requirements occurred that has made an emotional impact on me that I'm still processing.  The age for missionary service changed-men are invited to serve at the age of 18 and women at the age of 19.

I happened to be trolling Twitter this morning when I noticed one of my favorite Mormon/Feminist/Authors tweeted the changes as they were happening and I was immediately taken back by how emotional my reaction was.  I haven't been involved in the church in more than 5 years and while I miss certain aspects, I try not to dwell on it often.  The Twitterverse was a buzz with the news including, and perhaps the most impactful to me, the news that the Young Women and Young Men's programs would be taught via the same manual.  Almost as important a change as the attempt at equality in the age of missionaries in my mind.

Part of the reason I choose to not participate in the church with my family today are the confusing messages I received as a young woman concerning my fate in life, my understanding that my worth was only as a homemaker and my "less than" status compared to the boys my age-my job was to control my behavior and dress as to not tempt the boys in my vicinity to behave or think inappropriately.  Concurrently-I was to support the boys my age as they prepared for missions with the understanding that IF I wasn't married by the age of 21 I could also serve my religion IF I choose to do so.  Those "less than" feelings were not something I was comfortable exposing my daughters to and passing that guilt and burden on to.

I should say at this point that this is MY experience and MY understanding, I know some of you felt differently growing up in the church and had different experiences and that's ok.  This is just what I felt.

Today I felt a monumental shift.  And while many sources are pointing to different reasons the change was made (needing more missionaries, BYU attendance issues, etc) I feel strongly that regardless of the reason behind the change, the change will be one for the better and the long lasting effects are progress in the making.

Also announced, as I understand it-I didn't watch Conference myself, is that the Young Men and Young Women's programs will be taught from the same manual.  This marks a significant change in which boys and girls, ages 12-18 are being taught the same things, week by week, and held to the same principles for the same reasons.  To me, this is huge.  I have fought back tears all day at the thought alone and the validation my 19 year old self feels with these changes.  It's hard to explain if you are outside of the culture. I look forward to the day no girl in the church is aware of the licked cupcake analogy or the already been chewed gum object lesson.

Someone on the internet today called it "Progress With an Asterisk".  It's a seemingly small change but I think it's a Neil Armstrong moment.  One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.  I don't need men and women to have the same responsibilities within the church to feel comfortable going back but I do need to know my daughters would be stretched to be the best they can be and feel as important and as valuable in their capacity to serve as my sons would at the same age.  This change could be the beginning of that.

Or it might not be.
Truth?
I'm an eternal optimist.

I believe in evolution.
Even in religion.

Who knows what we will see in our life times.
At the risk of sounding dramatic...
I never thought I would see this.

So I remain cautiously optimistic.
From a distance.

Progress is often slow but always worth it.

-McGee

little MANnerisms

Little Man says the funniest things,

But sometimes his siblings take the cake.

Bean was just barely home and the kids were all over her.

All of a sudden she tensed up,

Her face went red,

Her body was tight as can be...

And she filled her diaper.

Loudly.

And 5 year old Soapy D says, completely serious...

"It looked like she was using the force!"

(Have I mentioned she's a Star Wars fan?)

Needless to say Bean's been using the force plenty.

-McGee

silly me, I made another plan.

You would think I would have learned my lesson.
Make a plan.
God laughs.
Plan goes to hell.

Last Tuesday I was counting down my week.
I was two shopping trips,
A doctors appointment,
Two high school registrations,
A basketball practice,
A nail appointment,
And a kids hair cut away from having a baby.

We had a plan to induce on Saturday.
It didn't quite work out that way!

So on Wednesday, August 15th, a few days earlier than we planned but like everything else in the world, just on time...the most amazing blessing came into our family.

Introducing...the Bean!

Happy, healthy and perfect as can be.
Some day I will learn...my plans are often overrated.

-McGee

Seriously?

Saw this on Mormon Child Bride...

I had the same reaction she did.
http://mormonchildbride.blogspot.com/2012/07/take-sad-song-and-make-it-better.html

Only I'm a mom of boys as well as girls
And here's what...

I'm so tired of girls being responsible for boys reactions.
I've grown disgusted with the concept that girls are taught in the religion I grew up in that they need to be modest for the boys sake, so the boys don't think bad thoughts.

I absolutely abhor the object lessons that regenerate every few years like licking a lollypop and then asking everyone if they want it after you.  Only to tell these young women that if they make a mistake with regards to morality they are nothing more than a lollypop that's already been around the block and no one else will want them.  Or a cupcake that's had the frosting licked off.

It makes me sick.

How about this?
How about we focus on respect for ourselves.
Why aren't we teaching young girls to respect their bodies.
For THEIR sake.
To dress in a way that makes them feel beautiful.
And comfortable.
So that they feel great about their bodies.

How about it's ok, we all make mistakes.
You're worthy of great love even if you aren't perfect.
Your worth doesn't hang on one less than stellar choice.

Where are the lessons for the young men of the world being told to get their minds out of their gutters and treat the girls around them with respect?  When do they get held to the fire and made responsible for their actions?  Or will we always blame the girl in a short skirt standing on a corner for the misdeeds done to her late at night?

Ugh.

so gross to me.

and to sign it from "Real Men"

Good.  God.


If this is what we really lean on to teach our girls self respect and dignity than shame on us.


Pregnant Rant Over.


-McGee 

perks of divorce.

Got your attention on that one, didn't I?

So this weekend, Mr. Man and I realized our time was running out.
Life is about to change in a drastic albeit blessed way.

We're about to retire our non-kid weekends.

For the past four years, our special little perk of being divorced parents was that all of our sweet kids went to their other parent's homes every other weekend.  On the same weekend. Which was lovely.

We've run away for mini-vacations.
We've hung out in bed for entire weekends.
We had three movie weekends.
In the theaters.
(This past weekend we had to repeat that one just for kicks!)
We've hot-tubbed and chilled in front of fires.
We've seen more concerts than I can honestly recall.

It's been a blast!

What an amazing blessing to a new couple to have that time set apart to spend with just each other (and now an over eager puppy), playing, dating and just enjoying life together.  Don't get my wrong, I adore all four of our children who live in our house but it has been quite a luxury to have no choice but to spend time without them.

And now there's the Bean.

Baby Bean is getting closer and closer.
Our time just the two of us is about to get sparse.
And while I cannot wait for her to complete our little family,
I will miss our non-kid weekends.

I have been so blessed to get to hang out with my best friend, the best husband I know and the funniest guy I've met over the past four years of non-kid weekends.  Our lives are better for it and as sad as I am that they're going away, I can't wait to see what this next phase of life holds for us.

Baby Bean weekends can't come soon enough!
Tick...tock...it's coming!

-a very preggo McGee

favorite dad.

I have had the fortune of experiencing a few dads in my life.
I have a biological dad.
A dad who raised me.
An uncle who I looked to when I needed a teddy bear.
And a step-dad in my late 20's.

I've seen a little bit of everything.
So I feel a little bit of an expert on the subject.

That said, I am married to my favorite dad of all!

When I met Mr. Man he wasn't yet a dad.  I watched him with the eyes of a friend become a dad for the first time, nervous and excited, ready and not at all ready.  Five years later I can say he's wrapped around Soapy D's little finger and she loves her daddy.  I've watched him put her first, better himself to benefit her and move mountains to make sure she had what she needed from her Daddy.  And when something is wrong that girl knows her daddy is waiting there with arms open always.

Then he really went and did it.  He became a dad to my children.  It takes an unusually special man to marry a woman who has three children.  It takes an extraordinary man to love them like his own.  I know, the dad who raised me was not the one I was born with and Mr. Man had big shoes to fill with an example like my dad.

I've watched him take on Little Man as his son and teach him the things boys need to know along with a healthy dose of the gross things mom's pretend we don't know about.

I've watched him grow the patience of a saint with two teenage daughters who push and pull and test every boundary but know they can count on him at every turn and love him for it.

I've seen the man I love turn into the man I love even more than I thought possible.  I've heard the best thing a dad can do for his kids is love his wife well.  Mr. Man loves us all well.

And now with a little one on the way...I cannot wait.

I can't wait to share that moment with him.
I am so looking forward to coming full circle.
Completing our family.
Together.
With the best dad I know.

Love you to pieces sweetheart!
-McGee

little MANnerisms

So my littlest sister was in town last week.
Little Man had just walked in from the backyard.
He's 8 now and we're adding to his responsibility list.
He's in charge of cleaning up after the puppy outside each day.

Auntie JoBo...
"Whatcha doing out there buddy?"

Little Man...

"I was just outside picking up poop."

(long pause)

"But not mine."

Ever watch Modern Family?
We have our very own Luke.

And he's adorable.

-McGee

she said it best.

I follow this blog.
She's honest, messy and true to herself.

And she said it better than I can yet.

"I will be Mormon again whenever that title allows me to do good. I know my struggle is not over. I know my church will let me down again. It is run by humans, steeped in patriarchy and tradition. Humans, social hierarchy, and tradition will always let us down."


 http://mormonchildbride.blogspot.com/

Eventually I hope I can put into words how I really feel about the heritage I grew up with and my heart that disagrees with much of it while missing it fiercely.

Until then-check HER out.

-McGee

non-obligatory mother's day post

Sometimes Mother's Day can be anti-climactic.
Even upsetting and emotional.

I can remember a few Mother's Day's sitting in a pew at church hearing stories about the most amazing mother's ever and not knowing how I would or could ever measure up to that.

Add to that my preggo hormonal emotions AND the cover of Time magazine asks me this week "Are You Mom Enough" and I'm maybe at my wits end with this glorious day we celebrate mothers.

It's not a race.  It's not a challenge.  It's not a competition.  I am the right mom for each of my kids.  And my mom was the right mom for each of us girls.  The working mommy vs. stay at home mommy debate rears it's ugly head in society every couple of years and it's just infuriating.  We should be building each other up and supporting other mom's, not critiquing and feeling insufficient to some perfect mold made up in our heads.

(stepping off my soap box now)

So this mother's day has been a little different for me.  We've spent the weekend with ALL of the kids home-even Big Man on Campus who's on a mini-summer break from college.  So naturally we spent it assembling IKEA furniture and getting all of our rooms and furniture squared away for my little jelly bean to make her arrival.  And rather than compare notes or sit in a church building feeling less than I started thinking about what's the one quality MY mom has that I admire most and would like to be better at.

I've written about my mom before-I'm a big fan of hers-you can read more about her HERE

My mom is a forgiving fool.
Seriously.
She'll forgive even the most difficult of things if she loves you.

What I love about that is what it's done for us as a family.  I've known a few families that have not been able to forgive a loved ones decisions or mistakes and have severed ties or created such tension that it's difficult to live with.  I've watched other families tear each other up just to prove who's right and who's wrong creating painful riffs that last longer than they should.

In our family, family is family.  Period.  We have all made poor choices and fallen off the deep end.  Including me.  In a family of so many girls let me just say we have all pissed each other off, some of us have made life altering bad choices, others of us have judged and pointed fingers at the others (that was my specialty, truth be told), we've fought, we've fallen away from each other, we've made up, we've made messes.  But we know we're in this forever and I really think this goes back to my mom and her ability to forgive.  She taught us by example that when your sister or your loved one, or even you kid screws up it's ok to be angry.  It's ok to be disappointed.  It's ok to have a messy response and throw your own fit.  But it will never be ok to walk away and everyone gets to make a comeback.

What's odd is that I can't remember my mom ever sitting us down and explaining this or teaching us this lesson.  I've just seen it time and time again.  It's sort of amazing to me.  And she's certainly not perfect at it-I'm sure there are situations unresolved for her or things that have been painful to forgive but she does it.  Repeatedly.  Almost with reckless abandon.

I want to be more like that.
I would love to forgive more freely.
Let people have their do-overs a little more gracefully.

So that's how I choose to spend my mother's day energy today, getting ready for the baby and focusing on the part of my mom I would really like to be more like.

Feels really good.

Oh.  And mom?
Thanks for being who you are.
I sure do love you.

(And I think I just inadvertently blog named this baby in this post!  Every kid has a nickname I use here and in life...I think we'll shorten Jelly Bean to just Bean.  Yup.  That works!)

-McGee

girlfriends.

Call me crazy.
I have seven 14 year old girls in my living room for a sleepover.

And I'm loving every minute.

I was always awkward with girlfriends growing up.  I always had one or two but couldn't figure out how to really connect and the boys were more interesting to me.  (Big eye roll and sigh on THAT one)  It wasn't until I was a mom of two babies that I started to realize how important girlfriends might be.  And over the next decade, my girlfriends became my sanity and my lifeline.

So you can imagine my delight that my teenage daughters are learning that earlier than I did.  I'm hoping they will continue to hear me that high school is for finding your maid of honor, not your husband.  I hear these girls tonight make the most insanely dumb jokes and giggle over the silliest of things and my heart just swells.

It get's more and more challenging these days to connect with my girlfriends.  Spouses, boyfriends, kids, jobs, life circumstances and distance constantly get in the way of good, solid girl time.  But I know that at any given moment I can call one up and get advice, hear a silly story or vent about a bad day.

Girlfriends really do make the world go round.

Even if at age 14 they keep your mom up all night long.

-McGee

PHEW. I'm back.

What the heck was that?

Sometimes technology gets the best of me.

Took me awhile to figure it out but JustMcgee is fixed and back in action!

Look for more to come this week...I'm feeling opinionated and reflective.  Given that I'm also super pregnant that will probably not bode well for someone but life's too short!

-mcgee

don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Seriously.

My eyes burn from crying tonight.

It wasn't pretty.

You see...I was never what you would call a "dog person" but the boys in our family are, so we were graced with a puppy this year from Good Ole Saint Nick.  And then found out I was pregnant.

A boxer puppy.  And a pregnancy.
Good call, right?

Fast forward nearly four months, plenty of potty training accidents, good days and bad.

It was time to feed Bailey tonight and when Mr. Man went out to get her the back fence was wide open and Bailey was nowhere to be seen.  The horrific primal cry that let out of Little Man was horrific to experience as a mom.  It was all I could do to not come unglued.

The next hour and a half were mixed with lots of tears, many drives around the area and half hearted attempts to calm the boy and reassure him that it was possible Bailey would find her way home while I breathed deeply with big fat tears streaming down my cheeks.  In the midst of the chaos, one of my sisters hundreds of miles away placed a Craigslist missing dog notice and started calling animal shelters.  She beat Mr. Man to finding Bailey by a few minutes.   Best text of the year from my sister "She is at animal control!"

And here we are, hours later and I'm still a mess.  The thought of losing that little pesky part of family is unbearable.  Helping our kiddos get through that loss would have been heartbreaking.

So I guess it's official.
I'm not only a dog owner.
I'm a dog lover.

Through and through.

-McGee

Options.

I met a really incredible man this month.

In his 60’s, wildly successful in business, happily married for decades, father of 4 successful children.  He just looks like he won the life lottery.

My colleague asked him what makes his life so happy.

He said “Options.”

“When I realized I had options I kept going in life making the best choices I could but always looking for the options I had.  They kept getting better and better the more aware I was of what I could do with what I had around me.”

And then it hit me. 

I had been feeling so stuck.

And as if the universe heard me loud and clear…I was at a crossroads with work and facing decisions that were challenging.  Suddenly it was clear.

And then I saw the options.

They were always there; I just couldn’t see them clearly.  I had been so wrapped up in daily life and functions that I wasn’t seeing things as they were.  Now that I’m more freely looking around the list of options is growing by the day. 

And that list includes things I have always dreamed of doing!

So thanks, Dave. 

Thanks for the clarity.

Thanks for being so damn happy.

And thanks for reminding me it was always about my options!

-McGee

Collecting my people.

People come and go all the time.
Some impress me when they come.
Others when they leave!

I was reminded today that I have amazing people around me.

Four years ago I packed up my life and moved to Los Angeles, just me and the kids, knowing only Mr. Man and a cousin out here.  I left behind family, friends and a community I had spent a decade living in.  It was an exciting change but a big one for a girl who had a strong sense of belonging and a need for community.

Today I was reminded that over the past four years we have collected a new sort of family, we've found our people in unexpected places.  Spending the day with some of the most amazing, kind, supportive and fun people while supporting all of our daughters playing softball felt like I had finally found that sense of community again.  It felt like home.

It's been said that the way to a mom's heart is to love her children.  I'll add to that, love my children when you don't need to or it's not required of you and I am in your corner forever.  We have had the fortune to be loved and supported by an amazing cast of coaches, mom's, dad's and siblings.  Sitting in a group of a dozen adults today cheering on girls we have played with for the past year was exactly what I needed.  It reminded me that every time I support a kid, cheer them on or stand in their corner, it feeds them.  As a mom, it sure feeds me too.

So when in doubt...say something. 
Cheer a kid on. 
Let them know you're in their corner.

It totally matters.

Loving my community today!
-McGee

Here we go again!

I shoulda known.

I shoulda known when I was crying at the Rose Bowl Parade because it was so wonderful and beautiful.

I shoulda known when food sounded bad.  All around.

I shoulda known when I was so dang tired I could barely make it to the KIDS bedtimes!

See...we had this problem in our house.  We were going with a Brady Bunch theme, as in his and hers kids but we couldn't find ourselves an Alice for the middle square.

So we thought we would add an "ours" kid to the mix and call it good.

Baby McGee will be completing our not so little family in August of this year and we are beyond excited (and let's be honest a little nervous, I mean I AM 35 and it's been awhile since I've done the whole pregnant thing!)

As in everything I seem to do these days-here's to the journey!

-McGee

Where did it go?

WOW.
Ok.
So that just happened.
2011.

Where did the time go?

In 2011 I...

Quit a job I hated.
Started a new job that I love.
Flew back and forth to NYC 6 times.
Took our kids on an 8 day road trip.
Camped with 100+ of our closest relatives.
And survived.

My appendix ruptured and I found out 3-4 weeks later.
Spent a week in the hospital.
And survived.
(I'm like Wonder Woman with that one, I know!)

Went to countless basketball and softball games.
Coached four basketball teams.
Made a few new friends.
Tweeted more.

Stood on the top of the Empire State Building.
Wake boarded on a lake in Fresno.
Sat at Ground Zero.
Had great conversations under the stars by a campfire.

Learned a few things.
Forgot lots of things.

It was a busy year!  It's the only year where we have a child at every school level-college, high school, middle school, elementary school and pre-school.  Oh yes-bought a mini-van-add that to the list.  Consumed more gas than God-that's just what we do.

At the end of year I realized there's a little thing called balance that would do a girl wonders.  It seems like I juggled a lot but I felt off kilter much of the year.  Work was new and consuming and family time was accomplished out of necessity or hospital down time.  2011's word of the year is for sure...BALANCE! 

So here's to balancing more writing with work and play.

McGee