There are 5 kids on the planet that call me mom.
Lucky for me, I only had to birth 3 of them!
When I first started this blog, I gave them all blog names.
Little Man and Soapy D you hear about all the time.
They’re young enough to not be embarrassed yet!
Little Miss and Mini-McGee pop up occasionally.
But they ARE teenage girls.
They only think I’m sorta funny, some of the time.
And then there’s Bmoc.
Big Man On Campus.
I didn’t birth him.
But I am his mom, or at least one of them.
I’m like pork, the other white meat,
I’m the other mom.
I married into being his mom just before he turned 4.
He was a leap year baby, so it was technically his first birthday.
Today…or tomorrow…which is it?
He turns 19.
And he’s rad.
We caught Bmoc on the phone tonight for a proper happy birthdaying (he’s away at college) tonight and it was the coolest thing. Each kid got on the phone and one by one their sweet faces lit up as they answered questions about their lives and what was new. Lit. Up!
Because he’s the thing…
He is really great at making everyone feel incredibly special. It’s a gift, it really is. Even when he’s home and exhausted he takes the time to hug on, chat with or pay attention to whoever needs it. It is one of, if not his absolute greatest strengths. He loves unconditionally and without restraint and his siblings benefit maybe more than anyone else on the planet. At least until "That Girl" comes along!
So.
To the kid I fell in love with as a toddler…
Who is now a grown ass man…
You, big man, are awesome!
Happy birthday kiddo!
-the other mom
My thoughts... Based on my own ordinary existance. And sometimes extraordinary experiences.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
leading from a place of us, not me.
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”-John Quincy Adams
I was born and bred to lead.
No seriously.
Google my mom.
Born and bred.
Then I went to school for it.
Degree in Organizational Psychology.
How to lead people, create successful teams.
But life happened, and jobs come and go.
Bought a business, built a business, lost a business.
Changed careers, found new paths.
I’ve witnessed brilliant leadership.
I’ve endured misguided leadership.
The difference?
Coming from the place of US or ME.
I worked for a company that shall not be named-no need, really. This publicly traded company made the announcement that they were being sold and reentering the private sector but they announced to their employees with little fanfare and less explanation. The overall result was a lackluster work place where people were scared and scrambling to hold onto their jobs, uncertain about what it all meant. The quieter the leaders, the more chaotic were the employees. Morale was shot.
Christmas time came, deal closed, Christmas bonuses were more of a lottery where we all picked envelopes-some had $1 and a few had $20 or $100 bills. Wasn’t that fun? Time for a champagne toast for the employees and leaders to celebrate the coming changes and the official sale of the company.
CEO starts off with a toast.
They typical ‘Isn’t it exciting? Great things to come!’
Then the epic fail.
To his workforce, afraid for their jobs, inadequately prepared for the changes ahead and largely without a Christmas bonus, he toasts the following…
“Driving to work today, I was so excited and filled with hope. Then it hit me. I realized I woke up with extra zeros in my bank account today!”
No joke.
Leading from a place of me.
Inspiring no one.
Except, perhaps, his accountant.
Jump forward to my new position at an up and coming start-up company in the health sector with an inspiring team of investors, the likes of whom have invested in Facebook and started Amazon.com. And then we have our fearless leaders who work side by side with us to make what’s great, even more amazing. Literally. Work side by side us. Totally approachable and involved.
I found myself sitting in a small room with my new CEO and three other trainees. One of the trainees asked something along the lines of “What do you guys do with this aspect of this business?”
CEO’s response?
“You’re at the end of your first week grace period. It is no longer ‘what do YOU do,’ it’s ‘what do WE do.’ From here on out you owe me a dollar every time you forget that YOU are a part of US.”
And then he answered the question.
About OUR company.
The difference is night and day. When you lead from a place only of what can you do for me, you lose people, lose their faith, there is no buy in, they lose their hope and their meaningfulness in the work.
When you lead from a place of US, you inspire, you include, you challenge, you demand excellence and you get it. And we all win. We may not all have extra zeros in our bank accounts but we feel rewarded, validated and appreciated. And then WE all work harder. Because WE want to be a part of the greatness.
Again.
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”-John Quincy Adams
It’s all about US.
-McGee
I was born and bred to lead.
No seriously.
Google my mom.
Born and bred.
Then I went to school for it.
Degree in Organizational Psychology.
How to lead people, create successful teams.
But life happened, and jobs come and go.
Bought a business, built a business, lost a business.
Changed careers, found new paths.
I’ve witnessed brilliant leadership.
I’ve endured misguided leadership.
The difference?
Coming from the place of US or ME.
I worked for a company that shall not be named-no need, really. This publicly traded company made the announcement that they were being sold and reentering the private sector but they announced to their employees with little fanfare and less explanation. The overall result was a lackluster work place where people were scared and scrambling to hold onto their jobs, uncertain about what it all meant. The quieter the leaders, the more chaotic were the employees. Morale was shot.
Christmas time came, deal closed, Christmas bonuses were more of a lottery where we all picked envelopes-some had $1 and a few had $20 or $100 bills. Wasn’t that fun? Time for a champagne toast for the employees and leaders to celebrate the coming changes and the official sale of the company.
CEO starts off with a toast.
They typical ‘Isn’t it exciting? Great things to come!’
Then the epic fail.
To his workforce, afraid for their jobs, inadequately prepared for the changes ahead and largely without a Christmas bonus, he toasts the following…
“Driving to work today, I was so excited and filled with hope. Then it hit me. I realized I woke up with extra zeros in my bank account today!”
No joke.
Leading from a place of me.
Inspiring no one.
Except, perhaps, his accountant.
Jump forward to my new position at an up and coming start-up company in the health sector with an inspiring team of investors, the likes of whom have invested in Facebook and started Amazon.com. And then we have our fearless leaders who work side by side with us to make what’s great, even more amazing. Literally. Work side by side us. Totally approachable and involved.
I found myself sitting in a small room with my new CEO and three other trainees. One of the trainees asked something along the lines of “What do you guys do with this aspect of this business?”
CEO’s response?
“You’re at the end of your first week grace period. It is no longer ‘what do YOU do,’ it’s ‘what do WE do.’ From here on out you owe me a dollar every time you forget that YOU are a part of US.”
And then he answered the question.
About OUR company.
The difference is night and day. When you lead from a place only of what can you do for me, you lose people, lose their faith, there is no buy in, they lose their hope and their meaningfulness in the work.
When you lead from a place of US, you inspire, you include, you challenge, you demand excellence and you get it. And we all win. We may not all have extra zeros in our bank accounts but we feel rewarded, validated and appreciated. And then WE all work harder. Because WE want to be a part of the greatness.
Again.
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”-John Quincy Adams
It’s all about US.
-McGee
Monday, February 14, 2011
rethinking "Mr. Mom"
So.
It’s Valentine’s Day.
I’ve been known to celebrate people on their birthdays,
But today deserves a special nod!
I happen to be blessed to be married to my best friend. There are numerous things I love about him, too many to list. But here’s the thing…sometimes I forget how great he is, just the way he is. This past week I was in New York training for my new job. Mr. Man was here holding down the home front with ALL FOUR KIDS home. I am a good mom. I am. Ask anyone. But even I would feel overwhelmed by all four kids for five nights without my partner.
So I arranged the nanny’s schedule.
I signed all the kids school paperwork.
I double checked the calendar.
Did all the laundry.
I did everything I could do to set up success.
But then I left.
And it was up to him.
So here’s where it gets tricky. As a mom I happen to think that my way is, well, you know, THE way. And while nothing goes totally according to plan, I wanted to think that they would.
Go according to plan.
To my plan.
Mine.
The first time things seemed to be off course I was cranky and panicky. The second time I was probably rude. The third? Definitely rude. Then I heard him refer to himself as Mr. Mom. Or maybe I saw it. Probably a Facebook thing.
And then I started thinking.
Mr. Mom?
That’s kind of offensive.
To him.
Just follow me for a sec.
Fast forward 7 days, when I get home we have a pretty clean house, food in the fridge, a husband who is really glad to see me and four happy, healthy kids who had a great week with their dad. Not a great week with their dad who pretended to be mom or did things mom's way. They had a week that went by dad’s rules. And dad’s rewards. And you know what? It was good. It was all good.
I was so focused on him pulling it off and being the perfect “Mr. Mom” that I didn’t realize I was asking him to not do him, not be dad, not do it his way. And that was wrong. As mom’s I think we tend to expect dad’s to fall in line with our train of thought, be that Mr. Mom when we can’t be there. Out of necessity this week I had no choice but to watch from a far as he did things his way. And his way was great.
So to all of those “Mr. Mom’s” out there…
Forgive us.
You do you-because you do it well!
And to Mr. Man…
On our first married Valentine’s Day…
I adore you.
Just you.
Just the way you are.
Every. Single. Day.
Thank you for being the man you are.
-McGee
It’s Valentine’s Day.
I’ve been known to celebrate people on their birthdays,
But today deserves a special nod!
I happen to be blessed to be married to my best friend. There are numerous things I love about him, too many to list. But here’s the thing…sometimes I forget how great he is, just the way he is. This past week I was in New York training for my new job. Mr. Man was here holding down the home front with ALL FOUR KIDS home. I am a good mom. I am. Ask anyone. But even I would feel overwhelmed by all four kids for five nights without my partner.
So I arranged the nanny’s schedule.
I signed all the kids school paperwork.
I double checked the calendar.
Did all the laundry.
I did everything I could do to set up success.
But then I left.
And it was up to him.
So here’s where it gets tricky. As a mom I happen to think that my way is, well, you know, THE way. And while nothing goes totally according to plan, I wanted to think that they would.
Go according to plan.
To my plan.
Mine.
The first time things seemed to be off course I was cranky and panicky. The second time I was probably rude. The third? Definitely rude. Then I heard him refer to himself as Mr. Mom. Or maybe I saw it. Probably a Facebook thing.
And then I started thinking.
Mr. Mom?
That’s kind of offensive.
To him.
Just follow me for a sec.
Fast forward 7 days, when I get home we have a pretty clean house, food in the fridge, a husband who is really glad to see me and four happy, healthy kids who had a great week with their dad. Not a great week with their dad who pretended to be mom or did things mom's way. They had a week that went by dad’s rules. And dad’s rewards. And you know what? It was good. It was all good.
I was so focused on him pulling it off and being the perfect “Mr. Mom” that I didn’t realize I was asking him to not do him, not be dad, not do it his way. And that was wrong. As mom’s I think we tend to expect dad’s to fall in line with our train of thought, be that Mr. Mom when we can’t be there. Out of necessity this week I had no choice but to watch from a far as he did things his way. And his way was great.
So to all of those “Mr. Mom’s” out there…
Forgive us.
You do you-because you do it well!
And to Mr. Man…
On our first married Valentine’s Day…
I adore you.
Just you.
Just the way you are.
Every. Single. Day.
Thank you for being the man you are.
-McGee
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Follow the puck.
Just last year I saw this quote on a Kevin Smith tweet:
(Director of Clerks, Dogma, He's Silent Bob. If you don't know-you better find out. Quickly!)
“Don’t go where the puck is, go where the puck is going to be.”
He attributes it to Wayne Gretzky’s father. It doesn’t matter if you know hockey or not, here. I’m fairly certain most of us know that Wayne Gretzky is the Michael Jordan of hockey. (If you don’t know who Michael Jordan is, there may be no hope for you and I to be friends. Just saying.)
So I saw this thing on Twitter.
And I put it up on a post-it note.
On my bathroom mirror.
About a year ago.
A year ago, right this very minute, I had no idea where my life was headed. Ok-that’s a bit dramatic-but there were many variables-just ask my girlfriends, whom I used tirelessly to whine and cry to about my work and personal life. But every morning, as I brushed my teeth, I saw those words-be where the puck is going. So I bore down, kept my head up, and muscled through. It was kind of miraculous what happened next. My life, it came together beautifully. And on top of that I was surrounded my amazing people I hadn’t known before.
I went to this Moxy Workshop and found my moxy. Big time.
I married my very best friend, our way, untraditionally, and fabulously.
And at the end of this year, I went out on a limb.
I applied for a job I wasn’t sure I would get.
Now remember-I’m the girl who doesn’t do anything unless I know I will be the best at it-ever-because I don’t like to fail. However. My company had been sold, I was passed up for a promotion, people were leaving and it wasn’t an industry I was in love with. At all. I saw a job listing in a market that was new to me and I thought about the puck.
So I went for it.
Over.
And over.
And over again until they took me.
So I took it! A great start-up company, backed by the most amazing venture capital players in the history of the planet-big time players folks-in the medical industry. ZocDoc.com needed a new salesforce in Los Angeles and I was about to be a part of it.
Fast forward to my first week of training.
Second day in New York.
Getting on the elevator, 3000 miles away from home.
And I see Kevin Smith’s signature jersey.
In the elevator.
Being worn by Kevin Smith, himself.
(Sidenote…Mr. Man and I frequent a live show at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club called Jay and Silent Bob Get old. Seriously-like we’re there once or twice a month to hear Kevin Smith and his buddy Jason Mewes record a podcast. It would not be that hard to meet them, I just haven’t had the good fortune to do so as of yet.)
So I lean in and say-“hey man, would it be weird if I told you I was at your show last Friday night and I’m a huge fan?” He was shocked, excited and amazing-so friendly, took a picture, shook hands, etc. It made my day. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, I ran into the man later than night and chatted it up about his new project for 10 minutes. AND he tweeted about meeting me and how it started his day off with a bang.
So here’s the thing.
I would not have been in New York had I not had the wherewithall to go where I thought MY puck might be going. And even though, in theory, I should have met Kevin Smith a dozen times in LA, I met him 3000 miles away from both of our homes, following MY puck as he was following his.
So now what?
Well-I defer to Kevin on this one.
(We’re totally on a first name basis, even if he doesn’t know mine)
Kevin Smith has a new film-check it out at www.coopersdell.com and even better than that, he has a new distribution model he’s trying out. Bucking the system a bit, four walling it and taking the film on the road. It’s brilliant and significant enough for a blog post of its own. But in Mr. Man’s terms-he’s doin it. He keeps saying it’s time to put your stick down, head up and SKATE! (think hockey)
So that’s what’s next.
This new job will try me in ways I have not been tried yet. It will be totally worth it but demand more out of me than any other job has. It will be amazing. As long as I keep my head up, stick down and skate like there’s no tomorrow.
So it’s time for a new post-it on my bathroom mirror.
And hopefully, in a year…
Kevin Smith and I will both be reaping the rewards!
Thanks Kevin-keep skating and I will be too!
-McGee
(Director of Clerks, Dogma, He's Silent Bob. If you don't know-you better find out. Quickly!)
“Don’t go where the puck is, go where the puck is going to be.”
He attributes it to Wayne Gretzky’s father. It doesn’t matter if you know hockey or not, here. I’m fairly certain most of us know that Wayne Gretzky is the Michael Jordan of hockey. (If you don’t know who Michael Jordan is, there may be no hope for you and I to be friends. Just saying.)
So I saw this thing on Twitter.
And I put it up on a post-it note.
On my bathroom mirror.
About a year ago.
A year ago, right this very minute, I had no idea where my life was headed. Ok-that’s a bit dramatic-but there were many variables-just ask my girlfriends, whom I used tirelessly to whine and cry to about my work and personal life. But every morning, as I brushed my teeth, I saw those words-be where the puck is going. So I bore down, kept my head up, and muscled through. It was kind of miraculous what happened next. My life, it came together beautifully. And on top of that I was surrounded my amazing people I hadn’t known before.
I went to this Moxy Workshop and found my moxy. Big time.
I married my very best friend, our way, untraditionally, and fabulously.
And at the end of this year, I went out on a limb.
I applied for a job I wasn’t sure I would get.
Now remember-I’m the girl who doesn’t do anything unless I know I will be the best at it-ever-because I don’t like to fail. However. My company had been sold, I was passed up for a promotion, people were leaving and it wasn’t an industry I was in love with. At all. I saw a job listing in a market that was new to me and I thought about the puck.
So I went for it.
Over.
And over.
And over again until they took me.
So I took it! A great start-up company, backed by the most amazing venture capital players in the history of the planet-big time players folks-in the medical industry. ZocDoc.com needed a new salesforce in Los Angeles and I was about to be a part of it.
Fast forward to my first week of training.
Second day in New York.
Getting on the elevator, 3000 miles away from home.
And I see Kevin Smith’s signature jersey.
In the elevator.
Being worn by Kevin Smith, himself.
(Sidenote…Mr. Man and I frequent a live show at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club called Jay and Silent Bob Get old. Seriously-like we’re there once or twice a month to hear Kevin Smith and his buddy Jason Mewes record a podcast. It would not be that hard to meet them, I just haven’t had the good fortune to do so as of yet.)
So I lean in and say-“hey man, would it be weird if I told you I was at your show last Friday night and I’m a huge fan?” He was shocked, excited and amazing-so friendly, took a picture, shook hands, etc. It made my day. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, I ran into the man later than night and chatted it up about his new project for 10 minutes. AND he tweeted about meeting me and how it started his day off with a bang.
So here’s the thing.
I would not have been in New York had I not had the wherewithall to go where I thought MY puck might be going. And even though, in theory, I should have met Kevin Smith a dozen times in LA, I met him 3000 miles away from both of our homes, following MY puck as he was following his.
So now what?
Well-I defer to Kevin on this one.
(We’re totally on a first name basis, even if he doesn’t know mine)
Kevin Smith has a new film-check it out at www.coopersdell.com and even better than that, he has a new distribution model he’s trying out. Bucking the system a bit, four walling it and taking the film on the road. It’s brilliant and significant enough for a blog post of its own. But in Mr. Man’s terms-he’s doin it. He keeps saying it’s time to put your stick down, head up and SKATE! (think hockey)
So that’s what’s next.
This new job will try me in ways I have not been tried yet. It will be totally worth it but demand more out of me than any other job has. It will be amazing. As long as I keep my head up, stick down and skate like there’s no tomorrow.
So it’s time for a new post-it on my bathroom mirror.
And hopefully, in a year…
Kevin Smith and I will both be reaping the rewards!
Thanks Kevin-keep skating and I will be too!
-McGee
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