seeing red.

*Disclaimer.
No kids were harmed in the development of this post.
But I wanted to.

I know.
I’m a grown woman and she was just a kid.
But she punched my kid.
And I wanted to pick her up by her red headed pigtails and give her a piece of my mind.

So she’s 5?
Big deal.
She looked at least 6.
Does that make it better?

My poor JT sat there and took her punch. Three times. Finally he heard me call his name and came over, buried his face in my arm and tried not to lose it. I watched her punch him three times. And he didn’t hit back. (Point for our parenting skills) But this little rugrat’s dad also watched and said nothing.

So yeah.
I’m not perfect.
I wanted to pop her one and she was only 5.
(But she looked 6)

I wonder if the momma bear instinct ever goes away. I wonder how the hell I am going to deal with the first boy who really breaks my daughters’ hearts or hurts my kid when there’s nothing I can do about it. I wonder how my parents feel when watching the inevitable hurt that comes with love and life of my sisters and I. Because, really-people around us aren’t perfect and surely we’ve all been punched by the red headed brat a few times figuratively or literally.

And I have a sneaky feeling…
That my mom has wanted to wallop a few kids on my account too.
Which makes me feel better.

So did the ice cream I bought us both tonight.
Him for not hitting back.
And me for only hitting back in my head.

McGee

sad, soggy Via Spiga's

My Via Spiga's are unhappy with me.
Or, I prefer to think...with the rain.

And lest you think I have a closet full of these designer shoes to choose from on any given day, please know I love Payless shoe source and Target's shoe department and dream of the day I wear my first pair of Jimmy Choo's. 

So when I say my Via Spiga's are unhappy with me.  I take it personally.

In case you haven't heard we are having the storm of the century down here in L.A.  (And if you haven't heard that you should know we have a black president now and Britney's back.)  And of course when it rains, it pours.  I pulled into my driveway cozy and dry in my nice warm car so grateful that I get to pull into my garage and avoid all the rain but when I hit the button to open the gate...

Nothing.

Ordinarily no big deal but now I had to park on the street and walk in through the guest entrance, maneuver through a couple walkways and hope that my work clothes and those damn Via Spiga's don't get too wet along the way.  I headed in towards our place and found myself in a bit of a puddle...not too bad...so I kept going.

Until I realized that my feet were super cold now.
I was holding up my slacks so they wouldn't get wet.
And now my shins were cold and wet.

Really.

I was wading through the absolute only way I could get to my house and I was now in a corridor with six inches of standing water.  Very cold standing water. 

I finished the swim to our place and swore up and down cursing the water, dropped my Via Spiga's onto a towel, lovingly dried them the best I could and then attempted to warm my toes.

But then I realized...my kids were about to come home.  And they would have to walk the same way.  And lest you think what I'm about to tell you is because I adore my kids and would part the river for them to walk through it out of the goodness of my mommy heart; I should tell you that the only thing worse than sad, soggy Via Spiga's is an entryway full of wet sloppy kid shoes and soaking wet socks strewn everywhere.

So I hatched a plan.
Because I'm resourceful like that.

This plan had me in a big baggy sweatshirt, basketball shorts and flip flops.  I never said it was a brilliant plan.  I headed out to unclog what must be a clogged drain and relieve the complex of these waterlogged walkways.  I forgot my Superwoman cape-perhaps next time.

The water was so cold and the drain was so clogged with leaves that it took multiple trips in and out of the water.  I brushed aside the leaves as long as I could before I literally could not stand the cold any longer...would find higher ground for a moment (where I would reflect about how I left Marin county for the sunshine)and then back in I went until there was just a trickle or water in the complex well on it's way to the drain and out into the street.

As I walked back to our place with a little pep in my superwoman step I noticed those toes I so neatly had manicured a week ago. 

They were red.
Not the nails. 
The toes. 
And the feet. 
And just a bit of the shins.

But the victory felt was priceless.
That is...until I went inside.
And saw those Via Spiga's...

They were pissed.

McGee

rainy night adventure

I have a confession to make.
I love blogs.
No-like I have a couple I read everyday without fail.

I found a new one...well...not so much new-a blog by the sister of a blogger I follow.  Don't ask me which blogger came first-that's like the chicken and the egg question.  The thing is...another confession...I spent HOURS reading these two blogs.

Like I found them.
Then I read a few posts.

Then I spent hours of my life reading about theirs.  And then I pondered tonight...why do I love these so much?  I think it's because in between brilliant, thought out theories of life, they blog about life.  Like daily life.  And then I had a day that I can't help but blog about.

Mr. Man has been out of town for a couple days (returns tomorrow-YEAY, only to leave again for next week-sigh) and as I've been wearing thin a bit I thought it might be a good idea to check out the new Sonic Drive-In for dinner tonight-BIG treat!

Tangent-the kids and I LOVE Sonic.  We have never lived by one but whenever we travel we sure look for them!  Mr. Man?  Not so much a fan.

It's been pouring rain out here.  Actually had tornado warnings!  But the kids put on warm pj's and we jumped in our big warm car and off we went for greasy food and sugary drinks.  Ordered our food with lots of joy and excitement...tipped our car hop four whole dollars-I used to have that job-it wasn't as fun as it looks-went to start the car to head home with our treats...

And nothing.

As in no juice.
No power.
Nothing.

So after trolling around the other patrons knocking on windows to see if anyone had jumper cables and being looked at like a creepy stalker in her sweats and UGG slippers I found an employee who was willing to help.  Three men, lots of pushing, no power steering and rain coming down with my window stuck open and finally a jump start (and did I mention a few choice words under my breath?) we headed home.

Except that I remembered last time I was at PepBoys they informed me I should replace my battery.  SO.  Perhaps a detour to get that battery would be a good idea so we could actually count on a car for tomorrow.

Much to my teenagers dismay we took our Sonic...
In our pj's...
Into PepBoys while they replaced my battery.

Little did I know that my little Sonic treat that was to compensate for me being so cranky would cost me $120, a little humility, a lot of frustration and a watered down slushy that I didn't get to for an hour.  But it was an adventure.

Good thing we start over again in the morning!

McGee

*To both of you who read me more than once in a blue moon...thanks for getting to the end of my little life moment...I think I'll try this more often under the radar-I promise I will get better at it!  Check back often but rest assured...cause I think what I have to say is exciting and important...I will let you know when I wax poetic a new theory or thought!

scared to succeed

What am I going to wear to Prom?
Who do I eat lunch with today?
Which elective do I choose?

Remember when those were the most pressing decisions we were making?  I long for those days.

Well-not really-I wouldn’t say I was one of those girls who loved high school so much she would go back and do it all again in a heartbeat. No. I was more like the “whew-glad that’s over-I’m NEVER stepping back on a high school campus again” girl. But I digress a bit.

I was Facebooking the other day (yes, I know how cliché and silly that sounds but I love it and I’m not giving it up…Facebook is my friend and who are we kidding-I am there EVERY day-not just the other day) and I came across a status from a young teenage girl whom I’ve know since she was 5…it basically said that she was feeling pressure and sad and overwhelmed and life was rough. With all the heartfelt compassion I could muster I would love to grab her and hug her and say…

Kiddo. You haven’t seen anything yet.

Adult decisions and life choices are WAY more difficult. And I’m not always a fan. We all face choices whether it be over our career or childrearing or our relationships and friendships, with our bank accounts, our homes and our cars.

Sometimes I find myself hesitant and indecisive.
I don’t think I used to be this way.
And I’m not always that way.
But then again…the decisions aren’t always that tough!

I heard a great talk on Sunday at church where the Pastor talked about success and failure. He shared some thoughts that really hit home for me…(He was much more eloquent but I paraphrase)...

We’re more afraid of success than failure.
Failure takes away our options, makes our choices for us.
Success opens the door to more options and demands more from us.

Hmmm…I actually find myself sometimes longing for the choice to be made for me!

But if you really think about it-it’s so true. Success is scary because it does open up a lot of options which in turn requires more of us as individuals. I am scared of my potential. I actually do think I am capable of great things. And yet, that scares me at least as much as it excites me. I do actually believe I am capable of making hard decisions and following my dreams.

And then I start with the “What if’s.”
What if I’m not?
What if I can’t do it?
What if no one likes it?
What if I fail?

OK Negative Nelly. But we do that don’t we? Ever notice how we spend so much time on that portion but we don’t spend any time on the What If’s of success?

How many times have we said to ourselves…
What if I am great?
What if I can do it well?
What if everyone likes it?
What if I do make it?
What if I succeed?

I am the Queen Bee of worst case scenario.
But this year I resolved to be more open and live more creatively.

So. Perhaps it’s time to put that Queen Bee crown down and start making decisions based on the “What If’s” of success. I wonder if life would be drastically different if I was capable of doing that? See! I already did it a little.

Hmmm…I think I could get used to this.

McGee

*If you want more info on the Pastor who sparked these thoughts, check him out here!

bye bye resolutions!

Define insanity...
Doing the same thing over and over again
Expecting different results.

In other words…new years resolutions!

We all do it. It’s almost impossible to avoid it. I even look forward to it!  Every year around December 26th I start thinking about what I did this past year and what I hope to do in the coming year. I get a renewed excitement about goals, plans and dreams for what’s next. It’s almost like a biological alarm goes off triggering high hopes and aspirations as though January first cleans the slate and opens the doors to a brighter future.

I’ve been mulling over what I wanted to do in 2010 with lots flying around my mind and nothing coherent coming out clearly and then I read my friend Sarah Jaggard's blog about new years resolutions. She points out that the resolutions of the past set up a list of things she didn’t do, trips she didn’t take, changes she didn’t make. Then Sarah said something that completely changed the way I looked at my new year habit-she posted...

“So this year I’m doing something a little different because I actually hope to achieve my goals for the year. It’s less about what I want to accomplish and more about who I want to be.”

Hmmmm.

No big list of specifics?
No number assigned to the amount of pounds I wanted to lose?
More focus on life itself and the direction I’m going in?

I am so in.

So this year…who do I want to be and how do I want to live?

I will be more open this year.
Open to new opportunities.
Open to try new things.
Open to other’s way of doing things and their opinions and feelings.

I will live my life more creatively.
I will pick up my camera.
I will keep writing this blog.
And keep seeing new things in a new light.

Am I still going to join a gym, lose weight, stop picking at my nails, journal more and work more efficiently? Sure. But my focus and priority will not be a check list.

Openly.
Creatively.

I think 2010 is time for a new way to think of the new year.
Let’s do this!

McGee